When God says YES

I’ve been struggling a lot these past few weeks, walking in a haze of all the things I need to do. I always try to rationalize it all, and I’m glad I’m not facing any major changes this time around. But God has a funny way of reminding you that we always need to rock the boat, in terms of our faith. We should never be complacent and just be used to what we have. What He giveth, He can taketh away. Har har. I will be facing major adjustments this coming weeks, and I feel relieved that I have passed a stage of my life where my patience and understanding was refined in fire… But I also feel anxious about what the future holds. But I am thankful for the chance. God will not give me this chance if He is not cooking up something big for me <wink>.

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

High on Dreams

Why do we stress ourselves into working? Into dealing with difficult bosses and choosing overtime instead of family time? In the few years that I am working, I realized that all your hardwork is for nothing. In life, we want to achieve a certain level of success. We want to be promoted, earn a high salary, be recognized. But we do not see that these are just temporary. Yes, you improve yourself, but as an employee. You find yourself in a rat race called life.

I have long felt that I don’t belong in the office. At first I thought I was just lazy, or that I just don’t have enough confidence in myself. But these past few days, I realized that what I really want in my life is to do the things I want to do, not because I need to do them. The corporate life is not the path for me.

So, gathering all my courage, I prayed. I realized that it doesn’t mean I’m an employee now, I’m an employee forever. I should involve myself in businesses. If I don’t start now, I will just go insane (Definition: People who do things the same way over and over again, expecting different results).

I think of my dreams. My future children. On how nice it is to take care of them myself without having to worry of money. I see myself teaching, even without a salary. I see myself giving so generously because I have more than enough. I see me and my husband, sleeping till we are done sleeping. We have a deeper relationship because we have all the time to our family. These things define what success is for me. Not the big office with a nice view. Or that double digit salary that will pay off a condo and a car. I dream of a life that is mine. I control it.

Yes, I am high on dreams. I may be stuck in the office now, but it’s temporary. It’s only a matter of time before all our efforts and hardwork will be rewarded.

Growing instead of worrying

We often take the time to worry. When things are not going our way, or if we don’t like the direction a situation is going, we worry. We worry when we need to do overtime and it’s your dad’s birthday. We worry when we don’t have a budget for fixing the toilet. We worry when we don’t get enough sleep for the next day, or deadlines seem to arrive and we haven’t done our tasks yet. Some people worry about everything and anything.

I am guilty of worrying too much. I am anxious most of the time. I don’t like the feeling honestly. Because I worry to much, I fail to see God’s miracles. I fail to grow. We must have faith that God is there to see us through, so we will be able to grow. When we grow, we become better persons. What more God wants for us! We become more mature, we become stronger. Because we experienced the experience without worrying about failing, or being broke, or being left behind, we focus on the learnings. Then next time, we are able to do what is best and glorify God.

So today, I lift everything up to Him. I will not worry. There’s a rainbow after the rain. I should take the time to see the rainbow.

What to do when you feel lost

I feel so lost. I am in a place I don’t want to be in. I am doing something I don’t like to do. But where else can I be? What else can I do? Tough questions need tough answers. But do tough answers need to come from tough people? What constitutes tough people? Am I a tough person?

Many years ago, I realized something. I needed to define what I wanted to do. I needed to identify what my passion is. Do I need money over passion, or passion over money? I was scared of not having to survive without a job, but had to survive doing something I don’t even know if I like. I was too proud to stoop down again.

And now, I feel that same feeling all over again. But I know this time, I need to follow my passion. What do I love to do? Do I have to start from scratch again? I am willing to let go of financial comfort just to find out. As a very wise man once told me – do something you love for a living, that way, you will never have to go to work ever again.

I’m starting now. It’s never to late.

Flashcards

I have a learned this technique from The Ant and the Elephant — on how to combat your negativity through the use of imaginary flashcards. I have modified it a bit, to suit my needs but results were more or less the same.

What you actually need to do is to imagine yourself in different situations that you foresee. Like, you are so negative about your workload and you are always pissed off (as I always am) with unexpected deadlines or meetings ranging looooong hours. Imagine yourself in that situation, and gauge your reaction. You know that you will be negative, but help yourself and imaging you responding in a positive manner. Instead of getting pissed off right away, why not imagine yourself smiling and taking on the challenge?

Do this in any other situation, other than work, like in your family, or when you go out with your friends. By anticipating all the forces that may make you negative, and of course knowing yourself, you are able to dictate positive emotions instead of being overwhelmed in negativity.

So far it has been successful in keeping me in track. After a while, I expect that it will come almost naturally. Just another tip on improving yourself.